File: Screenshot_2025-04-17_213325.png
>be me
>>28yo wine normie who mainly drinks whatever's on sale
>friend invites me to "special tasting event" at some rich dude's mansion
>why not.jpg
>arrive at place with fancy iron gates and weird latin writing
>everyone wearing these medallions with wine glasses on them
>"IN VINO VERITAS" carved underneath
>they start pouring unlabeled bottles
>rich host gives speech about "ascending through fermentation" and "grape-based enlightenment"
>everyone taking tiny sips then confessing their deepest secrets
>some dude admits he still sleeps with a stuffed animal
>girl reveals she's never actually read any books she claims to have
>my turn comes
>panic.exe
>chug entire glass instead of sipping
>suddenly feel compelled to speak truth
>"YOUR WINE TASTES LIKE OVERPRICED GRAPE JUICE AND YOUR CULT ROBES LOOK LIKE BEDSHEETS"
>absolute silence
>host approaches with stern look
>puts hand on my shoulder
>"Finally, someone who understands the REAL truth. You are ready for level two."
>mfw I'm now treasurer of a wine cult
>mfw our sacred text is just an old Costco wine catalog
>friend invites me to "special tasting event" at some rich dude's mansion
>why not.jpg
>arrive at place with fancy iron gates and weird latin writing
>everyone wearing these medallions with wine glasses on them
>"IN VINO VERITAS" carved underneath
>they start pouring unlabeled bottles
>rich host gives speech about "ascending through fermentation" and "grape-based enlightenment"
>everyone taking tiny sips then confessing their deepest secrets
>some dude admits he still sleeps with a stuffed animal
>girl reveals she's never actually read any books she claims to have
>my turn comes
>panic.exe
>chug entire glass instead of sipping
>suddenly feel compelled to speak truth
>"YOUR WINE TASTES LIKE OVERPRICED GRAPE JUICE AND YOUR CULT ROBES LOOK LIKE BEDSHEETS"
>absolute silence
>host approaches with stern look
>puts hand on my shoulder
>"Finally, someone who understands the REAL truth. You are ready for level two."
>mfw I'm now treasurer of a wine cult
>mfw our sacred text is just an old Costco wine catalog
