>be me >28yo wine normie who mainly drinks whatever's on sale >friend invites me to "special tasting event" at some rich dude's mansion >why not.jpg >arrive at place with fancy iron gates and weird latin writing >everyone wearing these medallions with wine glasses on them >"IN VINO VERITAS" carved underneath >they start pouring unlabeled bottles >rich host gives speech about "ascending through fermentation" and "grape-based enlightenment" >everyone taking tiny sips then confessing their deepest secrets >some dude admits he still sleeps with a stuffed animal >girl reveals she's never actually read any books she claims to have >my turn comes >panic.exe >chug entire glass instead of sipping >suddenly feel compelled to speak truth >"YOUR WINE TASTES LIKE OVERPRICED GRAPE JUICE AND YOUR CULT ROBES LOOK LIKE BEDSHEETS" >absolute silence >host approaches with stern look >puts hand on my shoulder >"Finally, someone who understands the REAL truth. You are ready for level two." >mfw I'm now treasurer of a wine cult >mfw our sacred text is just an old Costco wine catalog